I remember the day you first messaged me. And I remember the day you told me you liked me. And I remember the day you said that you loved me back. I remember all the days, or rather nights. Summer was amazing, I spent my days thinking of you, and daydreaming happy thoughts. Waiting for the witching hour, so I can lock myself in my room and talk to you. Make you promises (some of which i still intend to keep, you just don't know it) pledges, that may never be filled. I still have that stupid promise jar. I think I'll keep it for now.
This is not meant to be a very poetic letter (though my writing style can make it seem so), it is rather meant to be a farewell. That I will never give you. So our time together was great, but I always thought distance made it too hard. I wanted you, and i wanted you to hold me and kiss me. But it never happened. Part of that was my fault, part of it was poor planning, and part of it was something else. But I don't know what. I thought distance was a problem, and for me it was. But I thought it was for you too.
I don't know if you know how much it hurts, for a person to suddenly show disinterest. Turn away, meet your messages with brutal lack of emotion. Well now, I do. And it fucking sucks. So that, was the first wound. That was when you stabbed me (please excuse the over dramatic analogies here). And that fucking hurt. Cause you said we'd always be friends. And you know what? I fucking loved you, still. And I was too much of a pussy to say it.
So imagine how I feel when I see you coming into my town, to see your other friends here, and making time for them. But never for me. That was the first time you 'twisted the knife'. Then of course, with the visits, come the facebook statuses. These suck ass. One more twist. Then, (and this is where it gets really good) I see you are now 'in a relationship' with.. well you know who. So that was it. That was the last twist I needed before I pulled that fucking knife out.
And there we have it. I unfriended you on facebook. I deleted you from skype. And I cleared away all the message history I could find. Do I still love you? I don't think so. I haven't for a while. But I cared enough to write this. I don't know what to call you, so the letter lacks a title. But the reader, you know who you are. And if there is any doubt left: frunny, chocolate, lightbulb.
To all readers who the letter is not meant for - you didn't have to read this. but thanks anyway. I just wanted to publish it to get it off my chest. and on the off chance YOU ever see it, there you have it. my final words. goodbye.